the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
