Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
