She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
