shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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