I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
