She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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