i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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