put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I want to walk on stilts...naked
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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