You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
