Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
