Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
