I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
