Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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