So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All the doctor said was why
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
