Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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