So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
