I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
