why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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