He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
