Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
