who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
