I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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