That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
