First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
