Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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