I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize