Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
