Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
