why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
