is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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