so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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