I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
