You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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