she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize