how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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