Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
