just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So vagazzling was a success
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
soo... how was my night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
