Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
