like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize