If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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