The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
