so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He is an equal opportunity slut.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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