I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
