it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize