the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
