I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
