K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize