I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize