You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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