How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
