You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do vagina's smell?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
