i love accidental penises.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize