My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
