Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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