It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
