she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
