Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
