i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
