I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
