Pappa wants mamma naked
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
