is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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