I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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