So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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