Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
