youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
